“I Don't Need That Thing.”
Sound familiar? You bought the pendant. You explained how it works. And it's sitting in a drawer.
You're not alone. Research consistently shows that only about 20% of seniors who own a personal alarm pendant actually wear it consistently. The other 80% leave it on the bedside table, in a pocket of a dressing gown they never wear, or “just forget” to put it on.
Why They Say No (and What They Really Mean)
Understanding the real reasons behind the refusal helps you find an approach that works.
They say: “I don't need it. I'm fine.”
They mean: “Wearing it means I'm old and frail. I'm not ready to accept that.”
This is the most common reason. The pendant is a visible symbol of vulnerability. Every time they put it on, they're reminded of their declining independence. For someone who has been self-sufficient their entire life, this is psychologically devastating.
They say: “It's uncomfortable.”
They mean: “I feel embarrassed when people see it.”
Pendant alarms are not fashion accessories. They're clinical, obvious, and mark the wearer as someone who “needs help.” In social settings — at the shops, at church, at a friend's house — this feels humiliating.
They say: “I'll just call you if I need something.”
They mean: “I don't want to feel like a burden.”
Many seniors would rather take risks than feel they're imposing on their children. A pendant alarm makes the power dynamic explicit — “I am the one who needs help.” They'd rather maintain the illusion of equal footing.
They say: “I keep forgetting to put it on.”
Sometimes they really do mean this.
If cognition is starting to decline, adding one more thing to remember can genuinely be too much. They're not being stubborn — they're managing a growing list of things their brain is struggling to keep track of.
Alternatives That Actually Work
Daily Companion Calls
A daily phone call that feels like a friendly chat, not a safety check. If they don't answer, you're alerted. During the call, the AI naturally checks on wellbeing, sleep, medication, and mood — without it feeling clinical.
Why it works where pendants fail: There's nothing to wear, nothing to remember, nothing visible to others. Their phone rings like any other call. The technology is invisible — all they experience is a warm conversation.
From $1/week. See how it works.
Smartwatch with Fall Detection
Apple Watch, Samsung Galaxy Watch, or medical-grade watches like the Freedom Guardian look like regular watches. Many seniors who reject pendants will accept a watch because it doesn't carry the same stigma.
Limitations: Needs charging (usually daily), requires some tech comfort, ongoing phone plan costs, may not work with landline-only households.
Smart Home Sensors (Passive Monitoring)
Motion sensors on bathroom and kitchen doors, smart power sockets that detect appliance usage, and door sensors. If your parent hasn't entered the kitchen by 10am, you get a notification. No cameras, no intrusion.
Limitations: Doesn't provide companionship or conversation. Can't detect mood, pain, or cognitive changes. Requires WiFi and initial setup.
Voice-Activated Emergency (Alexa/Google)
A smart speaker placed in the bedroom and living room lets them call for help by voice: “Alexa, call for help.” Amazon Echo Show and Google Nest Hub also enable video calls with family.
Limitations: Only works if they remember to use it. Won't help if they're unconscious. Requires WiFi. Some seniors find “always listening” devices unsettling.
Tips for Having the Conversation
Don't frame it as “safety”
Frame it as connection. “I found this service that calls every morning for a chat. Want to try it?” is received very differently from “I need you to wear this in case you fall.”
Make it about YOU, not them
“It would really help me feel less worried” is more effective than “You need this.” Parents want to help their children, even at 85.
Start with a trial
“Just try it for two weeks. If you hate it, we'll stop.” Removing the permanence makes it much less threatening. (This is exactly why Kindly Call offers a 14-day free trial.)
Involve their GP
If the suggestion comes from their doctor rather than their child, it's received as medical advice rather than parental role reversal. Ask the GP to mention it at the next visit.
Give Them Connection. Give Yourself Peace of Mind.
Start your free 14-day trial today. No credit card required.
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