Is Someone Taking Advantage of Your Elderly Parent?
Your mother has always been sharp with money. She paid off her house by 55, never carried credit card debt, and kept meticulous records. But lately, her savings account has dropped by $40,000 and she can't explain where it went. Her “new friend” from the bowls club drives her to the bank every week.
Elder exploitation is one of Australia's most hidden crises. The Australian Institute of Family Studies estimates that one in six Australians aged 65 and over experience some form of elder abuse. More confronting still, two out of three perpetrators are family members — adult children, grandchildren, or spouses. This guide goes beyond financial scams to cover the full spectrum of exploitation: emotional manipulation, undue influence by carers or new acquaintances, inheritance predators, power of attorney abuse, and the subtle isolation tactics that make it all possible.
Australians over 65 experience elder abuse
Perpetrators are family members
Estimated annual cost of elder abuse in Australia
Of financial abuse cases go unreported
The Four Types of Elder Exploitation
Elder exploitation rarely presents as a single, obvious event. It typically involves a pattern of behaviour that escalates over weeks, months, or years. Understanding the different types helps you recognise what might be happening to your parent.
| Type | What It Looks Like | Warning Signs | Common Perpetrators |
|---|---|---|---|
| Financial | Theft of money, property, or assets; coercion to change wills; misuse of Power of Attorney | Unexplained withdrawals, new names on accounts, sudden will changes, unpaid bills despite income | Adult children, new partners, paid carers, “helpful” neighbours |
| Emotional | Intimidation, humiliation, threats of abandonment, guilt manipulation, gaslighting | Fearfulness around certain people, withdrawal, apologising constantly, anxiety about “upsetting” someone | Spouses, adult children, live-in carers |
| Social | Deliberate isolation from family and friends, controlling phone access, intercepting mail | Can't reach parent by phone, visits always “supervised,” stopped attending regular activities | New partners, controlling children, professional carers |
| Neglect | Withholding care, medication, food, or hygiene support by someone responsible | Weight loss, poor hygiene, untreated medical conditions, living in squalor despite having assets | Live-in family members receiving Carer Payment, residential care staff |
Who Exploits Elderly Australians?
The hardest truth about elder abuse is that it's overwhelmingly perpetrated by people the victim trusts. The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare's National Elder Abuse Prevalence Study found these patterns:
Adult Children (39% of perpetrators)
The most common scenario. Adult children with financial stress, substance abuse issues, or entitlement beliefs are the single largest group. They may move back into the family home, take over finances “to help,” or pressure parents to change wills. The parent often stays silent out of love, shame, or fear of family breakdown.
Partners and Spouses (17% of perpetrators)
Second marriages later in life carry particular risk, especially when one partner has significantly more assets. New partners who quickly push for joint accounts, property transfers, or will changes should raise concerns. Long-term spousal abuse also escalates as the victim becomes more physically dependent.
Other Family Members (11% of perpetrators)
Grandchildren, siblings, nieces, and nephews. Often involves “borrowing” money that's never repaid, using a grandparent's credit card, or pressuring them to act as loan guarantors.
Friends, Neighbours, and Paid Carers (33% of perpetrators)
The “helpful neighbour” who offers to do the shopping and skims cash. The new friend from church who drives them to the solicitor to change the will. The paid carer who pockets household items. These relationships are harder for families to monitor because they develop outside the family's line of sight.
Warning Signs Checklist
No single sign is definitive, but a cluster of these behaviours — especially if they appear suddenly — warrants investigation. Print this list and check it regularly.
Financial Warning Signs
- • Unexplained bank withdrawals or transfers
- • New names added to bank accounts
- • Sudden changes to will or Power of Attorney
- • Unpaid bills despite having adequate income
- • Missing valuables, jewellery, or heirlooms
- • Unexplained loans, guarantees, or property transfers
- • Someone else is “managing” their finances
- • Sudden interest in reverse mortgages or equity release
Behavioural Warning Signs
- • Withdrawn, fearful, or unusually anxious
- • Won't talk freely when a specific person is present
- • Stopped seeing old friends or attending activities
- • A new person is always present during visits
- • Apologises or makes excuses for someone's behaviour
- • Appears confused about their own financial situation
- • Suddenly defensive about a new relationship
- • Phone calls are always answered by someone else
How to Investigate Safely
If you suspect exploitation, act carefully. Confronting the perpetrator directly can escalate the situation and put your parent at greater risk. Instead, follow these steps:
Step 1: Document Everything
Keep a written log of suspicious incidents with dates, amounts, and witness details. Photograph any concerning documents. Do not remove originals — take photos with your phone. Request bank statements if you have authority, or ask your parent to request them. Keep your notes in a secure location the suspected perpetrator cannot access.
Step 2: Talk to Your Parent Privately
Find a time when the suspected perpetrator is not present. Ask open, non-judgemental questions: “How are things going with [name]?” “Are you comfortable with your financial arrangements?” Many elderly people won't disclose abuse directly — they may hint or change the subject. Listen for what they don't say as much as what they do.
Step 3: Contact the Elder Abuse Hotline
Every Australian state has a dedicated elder abuse helpline staffed by trained social workers. They can advise you on next steps without you needing to commit to a formal report. These services are free, confidential, and available in multiple languages. National Elder Abuse Phone Line: 1800 ELDERHelp (1800 353 374).
Step 4: Assess Capacity
If your parent has cognitive decline, they may not have the legal capacity to make the financial decisions being attributed to them. A GP can provide an initial assessment, and a geriatrician or neuropsychologist can provide a formal capacity evaluation. If they lack capacity, any financial transactions or legal document changes made during that period may be voidable.
Step 5: Seek Legal Advice
Legal Aid in every state offers free advice for elder abuse matters. Seniors Rights Service (NSW), Elder Rights Advocacy (VIC), and Aged Rights Advocacy Service (SA) all provide free legal assistance. They can help you understand options like freezing bank accounts, applying for guardianship orders, or revoking a compromised Power of Attorney.
Where to Report Elder Abuse by State
Australia does not have a single national elder abuse reporting body. Each state and territory has its own system. Here are the key contacts:
| State/Territory | Service | Phone | When to Call |
|---|---|---|---|
| National | National Elder Abuse Phone Line | 1800 353 374 | Any elder abuse concern; referral to state services |
| NSW | Elder Abuse Helpline | 1800 628 221 | Advice, referrals, intervention support |
| VIC | Elder Rights Advocacy | 1800 700 600 | Free advocacy and legal referrals |
| QLD | Elder Abuse Prevention Unit | 1300 651 192 | Helpline, education, community support |
| SA | Aged Rights Advocacy Service | 1800 700 600 | Advocacy and rights protection |
| WA | Alliance for Prevention of Elder Abuse | 1300 724 679 | Elder abuse support and intervention |
| TAS | Advocacy Tasmania | 1800 005 131 | Disability and elder rights advocacy |
| NT | Darwin Community Legal Service | (08) 8982 1111 | Free legal advice on elder abuse |
| ACT | ADACAS | (02) 6242 5060 | Individual advocacy and support |
If Your Parent Is in Immediate Danger
Call 000 (Triple Zero) immediately. Elder abuse that involves physical violence, threats, or confinement is a criminal matter. Police have powers to issue intervention orders and remove the perpetrator from the home. Do not wait for a “better time” — safety comes first.
Legal Protections for Elderly Australians
Australia's legal framework for elder protection is improving, though it remains fragmented across state jurisdictions. These are the key protections available:
Power of Attorney Safeguards
A Power of Attorney (POA) is one of the most abused legal instruments. Every state now requires that a POA be made while the person has capacity. If you suspect POA abuse, apply to the relevant state tribunal (NCAT in NSW, VCAT in VIC, QCAT in QLD) for a review. The tribunal can revoke or vary the POA. The attorney (power holder) has a fiduciary duty to act in the principal's best interests — using funds for personal benefit is a criminal offence in most states.
Guardianship and Administration Orders
If your parent lacks capacity and is being exploited, you can apply for a guardianship order (for personal/lifestyle decisions) or an administration order (for financial decisions). The Public Guardian or Public Trustee can be appointed if no suitable family member is available. Applications are made to the state civil and administrative tribunal.
Intervention Orders
Family violence intervention orders (AVOs in NSW, IVOs in VIC) can be taken out against anyone who is threatening, harassing, or abusing an elderly person — including family members. The order can require the perpetrator to stay away from the elderly person's home and cease all contact. Police can apply on the elderly person's behalf.
Bank Safeguards
Australian banks have protocols for suspected elder financial abuse. You can request a “safe transaction” meeting where your parent speaks to the bank privately. The Australian Banking Association's Code of Practice requires banks to take “extra care” with vulnerable customers. Some banks can place temporary holds or flags on accounts where abuse is suspected.
Power of Attorney Abuse: The Silent Epidemic
POA abuse is the most common form of elder financial exploitation in Australia. The Older Persons Advocacy Network reports that financial abuse involving POA is raised in more than 40% of their cases. Here's what to watch for:
| Red Flag | What's Actually Happening | Legal Position |
|---|---|---|
| Attorney pays themselves a “management fee” | Siphoning funds disguised as compensation | Only permitted if explicitly authorised in the POA document |
| Mixing principal's funds with their own | Using parent's accounts for personal expenses | Breach of fiduciary duty; funds must be kept separate |
| Transferring property into their own name | Asset stripping before death | Generally unlawful unless clearly in principal's interest |
| Refusing to provide account records | Concealing misuse of funds | Attorney must keep and produce records on request |
| Making gifts from principal's funds | Depleting estate to benefit themselves or allies | Only reasonable gifts consistent with principal's wishes |
How Daily Check-In Calls Detect Exploitation Patterns
Elder exploitation often goes undetected for months or years because the victim is isolated. Regular, independent contact with your parent — contact that the potential perpetrator cannot control — is one of the most effective protections available.
Mood and Anxiety Tracking
Daily calls track your parent's emotional state over time. A sudden shift from cheerful to anxious, or a pattern of fearfulness on certain days, can indicate something has changed in their environment. Families receive mood summaries that make gradual changes visible.
Unanswered Call Alerts
If someone is controlling your parent's phone access, unanswered calls become a pattern. Kindly Call sends alerts when calls go unanswered, giving you an early signal that something may be preventing your parent from picking up.
Mentions of New People
When your parent mentions a new “friend” who's helping with banking, or a neighbour who's taken them to the solicitor, these details appear in call transcripts. Families can spot concerning relationships forming before they escalate.
Independent Witness
Daily call records create a timestamped log of your parent's reported wellbeing, concerns, and activities. If exploitation comes to light, these records can serve as valuable evidence of the timeline and your parent's state of mind during the period in question.
Inheritance Predators and New Relationships
A growing concern across Australia is the emergence of new romantic relationships targeting elderly people with assets — particularly those who have recently been widowed. While genuine late-life relationships do occur, the following patterns should raise alarm:
Patterns to Watch For
- • New relationship within 3–6 months of spouse's death, when grief makes people vulnerable
- • New partner quickly pushes for moving in, joint finances, or property access
- • Parent becomes defensive and secretive about the relationship
- • New partner encourages parent to cut ties with existing family
- • Will is changed to include or favour the new partner
- • Significant age or financial disparity between the partners
- • New partner has a history of targeting elderly or vulnerable people
In NSW, the Succession Act 2006 provides for “family provision claims” where a new partner may claim against the estate. Victoria, Queensland, and other states have similar provisions. If your parent changes their will after a new relationship forms, it's important to ensure they had independent legal advice and full capacity at the time the new will was made. A solicitor who was recommended by the new partner is not independent.
Proactive Steps to Protect Your Parent
Prevention is always better than intervention. These measures can reduce the risk of exploitation:
Maintain Regular, Independent Contact
The single most protective factor is regular, private contact with your parent. Daily phone calls, video calls, or visits make it harder for someone to isolate them. If you can't call every day, automated check-in calls provide consistent, independent contact that perpetrators cannot prevent without raising an alarm.
Set Up Financial Safeguards
Consider arranging joint signatory requirements for transactions over a threshold (e.g., $1,000). Alert services on bank accounts for unusual transactions. A trusted solicitor holding the original will is safer than the will sitting at home where it can be pressured to change. Some banks offer “informal support arrangements” where a family member receives copies of statements.
Prepare Legal Documents While Healthy
Ensure your parent has a current will, Enduring Power of Attorney, and Advance Care Directive made while they have full capacity, with independent legal advice, and without any beneficiary present. Multiple attorneys (e.g., two children acting jointly) provide a check on each other's actions.
Know the Home Care Workers
If your parent receives Home Care Package services, get to know the regular workers and the provider. Request to be notified of staff changes. Review invoices against services received. In-home care workers who develop “special” relationships with elderly clients — accepting gifts, visiting outside hours, borrowing money — are violating professional boundaries.
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