Your Parent Lives Two Hours Away. You Can't Visit Every Day. Now What?
If you're reading this, you probably already feel the pull — that low-grade worry that lives in the back of your mind. Is Mum eating properly? Did Dad take his medication? Would anyone notice if something went wrong tonight?
You're not alone. An estimated 1.5 million Australians provide care for an elderly parent while living hours or states away. This guide is for you.
1. Build a Local Support Network
You can't be physically present every day, but you can assemble a team of people who can. Think of it as building redundancy — no single point of failure.
The Neighbour
Identify one trusted neighbour and exchange mobile numbers. Ask them to let you know if they notice anything unusual — curtains not opened, mail piling up, car not moved. Reciprocate with small gestures (bring something when you visit).
The GP
Ask your parent to sign a release allowing their GP to speak with you. Book a phone consultation with the GP to discuss your parent's health and any concerns. Many GPs are happy to loop in family for elderly patients.
Local Council Services
Most councils offer community visitors, meals on wheels, library home delivery, and social groups. Call your parent's local council directly — these services are often underutilised.
A Paid Cleaner or Handyperson
Beyond the practical help, a regular cleaner or gardener who visits weekly becomes another set of eyes. They'll notice changes in the home environment before you do.
2. Navigate My Aged Care From Anywhere
The Australian Government's My Aged Care system can feel overwhelming, especially from a distance. Here's how to work through it without needing to be physically present.
Step 1: Call 1800 200 422 (My Aged Care). You can call on behalf of your parent with their verbal consent on the line.
Step 2: Request an ACAT assessment. These can now be conducted via telehealth in many regions, or your parent can attend their local assessment centre alone — the assessor will contact you separately.
Step 3: Once assessed, you'll receive a letter with their approved level. The new Support at Home program (launched November 2025) has simplified packaging into 8 levels.
Step 4: Choose a provider. You can compare providers on the My Aged Care website. Many accept interstate family as the primary contact.
Tip: The AT-HM scheme (Assistive Technology and Home Modifications) can fund daily check-in call services, smart home modifications, and monitoring technology. See our full funding guide.
3. Technology That Actually Helps
Not every elderly person wants or needs smart home sensors. The best technology is technology they don't have to think about.
Daily Companion Calls
Uses their existing phone. No setup. An AI voice calls daily, has a genuine conversation, and sends you a summary. How it works.
Best for: Loneliness, daily safety, subtle health monitoring
Medical Alert Watch
Smartwatch-style devices that detect falls, heart rate anomalies, and can call for help. More accepted than pendant alarms.
Best for: Fall-prone individuals, those with heart conditions
Simplified Tablet
Products like GrandPad or a simplified Android tablet enable video calls, photo sharing, and simple messaging without the complexity of a standard device.
Best for: Visual connection, families with young grandchildren
Passive Monitoring
Motion sensors on doors, medication dispensers, and smart plugs that alert you to unusual patterns — without cameras that feel intrusive.
Best for: Dementia, those who forget medication, wandering risk
4. Establish a Communication Routine
The biggest challenge of long-distance caregiving isn't logistics — it's information. You need to know what's really happening, and your parent may downplay problems to avoid worrying you.
Set a regular call schedule. Same time, same day(s). Predictability matters for elderly people — it gives them something to look forward to and reduces anxiety about “forgetting” to mention things.
Ask specific questions, not “How are you?” Instead: “What did you have for lunch?” “Did you walk to the letterbox today?” “How did your sleep go last night?” Specific questions get honest answers.
Supplement your calls with daily check-ins. You may not be able to call every single day. Services like daily companion calls fill the gaps and give you a second perspective on how they're doing.
Keep a shared health diary. Whether it's a Google Doc, a notebook by the phone, or a family group chat — document medications, appointments, and concerns in one place that everyone can access.
5. Warning Signs You Can Spot Remotely
Even over the phone, there are signs that something may be changing.
Urgent Signs
- • Repeating the same story within one conversation
- • Confusion about what day or time it is
- • Mentions of not eating or skipping meals
- • Sounds of distress, crying, or unusual agitation
- • Not answering the phone at usual times
- • Unexplained bruises mentioned casually
Gradual Changes
- • Shorter conversations than usual
- • Less interest in topics they normally enjoy
- • Mentions of not sleeping well — repeatedly
- • Avoiding social activities they used to love
- • Complaining more about aches and pains
- • The house “sounding different” (TV always on, quiet)
6. The Guilt. Let's Talk About It.
Here is something that no practical guide can fully solve: the guilt of not being there. It's real, it's heavy, and almost every long-distance carer feels it.
You moved away for valid reasons — work, a partner, your own family, opportunities. Your parent probably encouraged it. Feeling guilty doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. It means you care.
What helps isn't doing more — it's building systems that provide continuous care so you're not the single point of contact. When a neighbour checks in on Tuesday, a council visitor comes Thursday, and a daily call happens every morning — you can focus your energy on quality time during your own calls and visits.
If you're feeling overwhelmed, the Carer Gateway offers free counselling, peer support groups, and practical advice for family carers.
Call 1800 422 737 (free, Mon-Fri 8am-5pm local time)
Give Them Connection. Give Yourself Peace of Mind.
Start your free 14-day trial today. No credit card required.
Start Free Trial